When I was TTC the first time, I really wanted to go to Babies R US just to "look" around. I never got around to it and as months past, W knew it was a good idea to keep me out of that store. He made a new rule that I wasn't allowed in the store until I was pregnant. He knew that there was no way I could handle a trip to the store. When a baby shower rolled around I would hope they were registered at Target and if not, I ordered online from Babies R US.
We celebrated hearing Jr's heartbeat by going to Babies R US and over the next 2 years there were LOTS of trips and thousands of dollars spent in that store. Over the past year, I have made fewer and fewer trips. My "baby" is growing up and just doesn't need anything from that store (besides diapers but I don't buy them there). Over the weekend, we headed to the store for what will probably be our last purchase for awhile. We ordered the toddler rail for Jr's crib. When we bought the crib we never actually planned on using it as a convertible crib becuase we thought we would have another baby before Jr. was ready to use it as a toddler or full size bed but when we realized that it would be over a year now before we would need the crib for another baby, it was time to take that step.
I didn't realize how hard it would be to make that trip...it hasn't been hard in a long time. But now, my baby is growing up and I no longer have a baby. I am back to where I was 4 years ago...longing for a baby and babies r us is just a painful reminder of that.
Of course it is such a painful reminder. Not only of what you lost (with the ectopic) but also about the future that you thought was coming and now, isn't. I am pretty much in this same place now. DD has outgrown the cot but we need to get her a toddler bed and I can't face it. Hoping that I can be as strong as you and do it soon!
ReplyDeletexx
I totally understand! Our Babies R Us and Toys R Us are combined. Whenever we go there with Conner, I go and look at the baby stuff. I am alone when I do this while the other two are looking at toys. I dream that some day, I will buy diapers again and have the chance to decorate the nursery again! I understand, completely what you are going through. I am there with ya!
ReplyDeleteHello there, thanks for the post on Busted Plumbing. I'm here to return the favor. What is it about us Infertiles where we both love and hate Babies R Us so much? I don't know why I torment myself, but its like a drug and I need to get my fix, wandering around in there for a baby I don't have. I feel ya sista!
ReplyDeleteI'm following you now and looking forward to getting to know you :-)
ICLW #117
I understand the part about the bed exactly. Just a few months ago we finally broke down our son's crib and moved a twin bed into his room to take it's place. We had always planned to have him move into a twin bed from his crib, but it was supposed to be in a different room because we would be needing the crib in the nursery for another baby. He finally told us he was ready for a twin bed and since there is not another baby (yet) we just decided to go ahead and break down his crib. It was hard but at the same time it was freeing because I could move on and know that when the time comes the crib can easily be put back together but for now this is what is for us. The other room, the one that was going to be his bedroom, is now a playroom and I LOVE that. Gotta try to look at the positives, I guess.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, this post breaks my heart because it hits so close to home. I completely feel your pain and heartache. Usually I am pretty good at giving words of comfort, but I am at a loss today, as my realization of not needing to reuse my daughter's crib is not very likely either.
ReplyDeleteHopefully you will need that crib in the next year or so. I pray that you do.
*hugs*