A possible Christmas miracle??

So things are happening a little quicker than expected. I went in for my ultrasound and blood work this morning to see if I needed another dose of follistim and I had one follicle at 22 ready to go. I came home, triggered and went off for an acupuncture appointment. Tomorrow morning (Christmas Eve), I go in for the IUI. We can only do one this time since they are closed on Christmas day so we will be having a "fun" Christmas morning. I'm feeling really good about this...I think it might be my Christmas miracle!!

Oh and on a side note, the acupuncture went really well. I didn't freak out and I was very relaxed the next day. It was amazing the different ways of looking at things. The chiropractor game my an exam. He checked the strength of my vertebrae. Each one was really strong except for one. Apparently, that is the vertebrae that carries all the nerves to the reproductive organs. In addition to the acupuncture, I'll get an adjustment each time to help strengthen that vertebrae. I go back in a couple of hours for round 2.

Time for the needles

When you saw this title you probably thought I was talking about giving myself shots...but no, I have decided to give accupuncture a try. Despite all the things I have heard about how accupuncture can help fertility, it hasn't been something I have been willing to do until now. So why now?? Well a couple of reasons. First, my anxiety is completely out of control. I feel like some days I'm having trouble functioning. I can't be in large groups without getting panicky. I really realized that this was a problem when I realized how much it was affecting my son. My anxiety is causing him to act out and throw even more two-year-tantrums than normal. I have a friend who is using accupuncture for anxiety while she is trying to conceive and she can't say enough about how much it relaxes her and how great it feels afterwards. Second, I really feel like it's time to throw out all the shots. I'd love for this to work so we don't have to go onto IVF so I'm willing to do whatever is necessary for that to happen. So I have my first appointment tomorrow morning...wish me luck!!

A decision

So, cycle #3 is also a failure. I wasn't expecting a lot out of this cycle- nothing seemed right the whole time, so it didn't come as a surprise but still a disappointment. We have made a decision. We will try one more IUI with a couple of changes and if that still doesn't work we will start IVF in January.

My little "Fluke"

Today, my RE called my son a fluke, a wonderful fluke, but still a fluke. Since we started this process with my OB/GYN back in January, everything has been based on the idea that since I got pregant with Jr with relatively little intervention, it shouldn't take much more for me to get pregnant...today we got a different story. Today, we were told, that my doctor has no idea how I got pregnant with my son and it was time to move to IVF.

W and I were a little taken aback. I know that most people don't do more than 3 or 4 IUIs and we have now done 3 but I just still didn't think we were there. My RE was SO positive that this would work for us that he even told us that they checked insurance coverage for IVF but it didn't really matter becuase we probably wouldn't need it. I expected a protocol change for IUIs not a move to IVF. If this cycle doesn't work, he said we could start IVF as soon as next week?? Really?? That is just too much. The first thing W and I said to each other when we got back in the car is that we can't start this next week. We have too much to think about and it's the week before Christmas. Life is too crazy to add this decision in right now. The option we were given is to add injectibles into our protocol for one more shot at an IUI. He won't do straight injectibles for this cycle because he is afraid I'll end up with too many mature follicles. We have gone back and forth all day about whether we will try a 4th IUI or take a month off and start IVF in January.

Lots to think about...

The best laid plans

So much for waiting to ovulate until day 19...Last spring when I was on only Clomid, I always did a day 5 start. I never once ovulated before day 17, was usually 18, and most recently day 19. However, when you need to ovulate late to enjoy your Thanksgiving plans...then my body decides to ovulate early. So we cut our trip short, headed home and had to use the weekend insemination clinics. I'm not feeling positive about this cycle since I just feel like nothing is working out. I guess we'll see...

oops...

I let a couple of months go by again...

Since my last post, we did IUI #2 which was unsuccessful and had a great relaxing week at the beach and spent a couple days with the big mouse.

We have just started IUI #3. We are going to be out of town on Thanksgiving and of course that is when I would probably need to have the IUI. So in order to involve this they have moved me back to a day 5 start on the Clomid instead of day 3. The last time I did a Day 5 start, I didn't ovulate until day 19 so we are hoping we will be making it back in time. I will be taking OPTs and if they turn positive we will be cutting a trip short and heading home.

Perspective

Sometimes, you have to put things in perpective. So IUI #1 was a failure...however, before I got a chance to be upset about the results, W called to tell me a good friend of ours had passed away. There is now a young wife and son without a husband/father. The fact that I'm not pregnant this month pales in comparison. I have to look at what I do have...and thank God for my blessings. We have postponed our vacation because of all of this so it looks like we will be cycling this month afterall.

IUI Round 1

Well, we did it. We have completed our first IUI. The start was a little stressful since my Grandmother died the day before I got my period so I was rushing around trying to get all my baseline stuff done and prescriptions filled before we left town for the funeral. When I had my ultrasound I had two follicles, a 16 and a 19. I triggered that night and we did two IUIs. W's counts were fabulous....so things are looking good... If this doesn't work we have to take next month off since we have a vacation scheduled so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be pregnant on vacation!

Our first RE appointment

Our first appointment with our new RE went really well. He seemed pretty optimisitic which was nice to hear. He thinks I can stay on Clomid for a few more months and just add in estrace and progesterone. We will start IUIs which I really think will do the trick :) He seemed pretty positive that I would be pregnant in 3 months!! Can it be this easy?? This is almost as good as getting pregnant by getting drunk and having sex but without the sex part!! It may seem wierd that I'm excited about this but I'm just so ready to move on to something else since this isn't working. I don't think I've ever been this anxious for my period to start so i can get started...

So much for being a good blogger

So, its been a couple of months since I started/updated this blog. I think I go through cycles of whether or not I should have a blog, whether or not anyone cares about my trials/tribulations, etc.Since I last updated, I have completed my fifth, yes fifth cycle of clomid. If I hadn't gotten pregnant on Clomid two years ago and if my progesterone scores didn't continue to be fabulous I wouldn't have done that many but my doctor and I were optismistic it would work. On July 1st, we also did another HSG. For those of you who have had an HSG, you may be wondering why you would ever choose to have another one. But, since I got pregnany the month I had my last HSG I wanted to at least give it a shot. I was just smart enough to ask for a prescription for Vicatin this time around.So, yesterday I made a big step and made a call. I have my first RE appointment on Monday. I couldn't believe they could get me in so quickly. I felt bad calling my current doctor and telling them i needed a copy of my records immediately so I had them for Monday's appointment.So hopefully I will update after that appointment and it won't be another two months before an update.

My Story: Part 2

So, I got my BFP, I had a baby, I could kiss my infertility goodbye...right...wrong! I never would have guessed that this followed me into motherhood. When my son was born, I had a hard time making enough breastmilk for him. Turns out that if your body doesn't make the right hormones to get you pregnant, there is also a good chance that they don't know how to tell your body to make milk either..Fabulous!! When my son was 6 months old, W and I decided it was time to start trying again. The only reason we waited that long was becuase my brother was getting married in Dec 08 and I wanted to make sure I could go to the wedding. Despite the fact that I expected it to take awhile and figured that there was a good chance that I would need intervention again, I couldn't believe how crushed I was that first month when my dear Aunt Flo made an appearance.I decided to wait to go back to the doctor until I was up for my yearly appointment (end of Jan). When January rolled around, I put off scheduling the appointment becuase I was so scared to get on the wagon again. Even though we had been trying for 7 months by this point I knew it was a totally different game once I started intervention again.I made it back to the doctor in February and he said it was probably time to try the Clomid again. So we are not in the two week wait of our third 50mg clomid cycle. If it doesn't work, we will be spending the next couple of months doing more testing and deciding if we want to stay with my Doc or move on to an RE.

My Story: Part 1

I married my husband W (nope not the ex-President) in August 2002. We had just graduated from college and despite getting married at a young age, we weren't ready for kids. I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and my husband was hoping for that as well so we wanted to work and save for a few years to make that possible.Three years later, a house, a Masters degree and a dog later, we decided it was time. In the fall of 2005, I met with my doctor, discussed with her that we wanted to start a family, got some initial bloodwork done and went home with a prescription for prenatal vitamins. Six months later, I called the doctor because I was having such irregular bleeding after going off the pill. my period was basically two weeks on and two weeks off. The nurse that I talked to said I should definitely come in and see what the problem was. When I went in for my appointment, I was treated like I shouldn't have come in to check out the problem. They said that they wouldn't do anything until I had been trying for one year. I tried to explain that regardless of getting pregnant, I really wanted to get my periods figured out - I was pretty sure this wasn't regular. They finally agreed to do a Thyroid test which turned out normal. So I was stuck in a holding period until I hit the one year mark. It was about this time that my periods started getting irregular - so I mentioned to my husband that maybe we should start charting, using OPKs etc. My husband's response..."It's not rocket science" - oh how little we knew then :)As we approached the one year mark, I was beginning to doubt going back to my doctor. I was still very bothered by the response I had gotten regarding the bleeding and just didn't feel comfortable there. So I made an appointment with a doctor that had come highly recommended from my SIL.I met with him for the first time in October 2006. I brought all my charts, etc. with me and despite what the OPKs and temp showed he felt I wasn't ovulating. Tests in Nov. seemed to support this theory and in Dec. 07 I started my first month of Clomid. Three months of Clomid later, my progesterone levels were up, my periods were regular but the bleeding hadn't stopped and I was now in therapy trying to deal with the idea that I may not be a mom. In March 07, I took a month off from the Clomid and had an HSG test. I didn't handle the test well at all and really began to consider whether or not this was the right path for us. That month my bleeding was even worse that normal and started earlier. I was POSTIVE that I wasn't pregnant. However, when my period was late and my temp was still elevated I took the test and low and behold it was positive. I was excited that I could get pregnany but really didn't even consider it a possibility that this pregnancy was going to last - you can't bleed this much and have a healthy pregnancy. My doctor confirmed low progesterone and put me on Crinone. One week later we had an ultrasound that showed a sac but was still too early for a heartbeat. On May 2, 2007, we had a second ultrasound and our little guy's heartbeat was beating away. We had made it to the other side...My son, was born in December 07. Throughout the pregnancy we began to assume that the reason that I had not been able to get pregnant was that my tubes had been blocked and the HSG had cleaned them out. Yes, the hormone imbalance may have contributed but now that everything was clear I wasn't going to have problems anymore (wishful thinking).

Why blog??

So my first post... Before I get into the details of "my issues" I thought I would address why I am here on blogger. As soon as I saw a little heartbeat on the ultrasound screen two years ago, I kissed infertility good-bye....I was going to be a mom!! But here I am back again...approaching the one year anniversary of baby number 2 and having a really hard time remembering specifics about last time. Luckily for fertility friend I still have all my charts, etc. to show the physical aspect of the journey, but what about the emotional journey? I am so sad that I can't remember the specifics about my thoughts and feelings from last time. I know I was sad, angry, jealous, etc. but I don't remember specifics - this time I want to remember...becuase it has made me who I am today.I really want this blog to be an honest account of what I am going through which is why I choose to keep it anonymous. With the exception of my husband, I am not honest with anyone about my feelings. Instead I give them the answer they want to hear, "yes, I am fine" "yes, I am soooo excited that you told me you were pregnant (when you weren't even trying)."So this is my story...