First, before I start, I KNOW that my current troubles in no way can come close to comparing to some of the things many of you have been through or are going through and I know that I still have several things going for me but that being said...after 2 years and 1 month of being reasonably positive...
I AM BITTER!!
I AM MAD!!
I am mad that instead of getting to enjoy my last pregnancy, to bring home a beautiful miracle baby, I instead spent several weeks trying to make it go away. And then once I finally was done with my break and ready to move on and try again, spent four weeks in Lupron induced screaming and crying fits, my cycle was cancelled and I found out that my pregnancy not only ended badly...it killed my fallopian tube.
I know part of this is just nervousness about the surgery. I am nervous about what they will find when they get in there. Am I only losing one tube...or both? What if the surgery finds other things wrong? What if the surgery causes more problems?
I'm looking forward to getting through this and being back on the TTC road again...hopefully sooner rather than later...
I get tired of people telling me to "Think Positive." The last two months or so..I finally say back.. "I have been positive for almost two years!" So, I know how you feel. I am still a little pissed myself.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking about you during your surgery. Hang in there!