Rollercoaster

I am waiting...waiting for the phone to ring...waiting to find out what twist and turn is going to happen next.

Wednesday was a rough day. I took the test, it was negative, and we began the mourning process. Thursday I was better and was just ready for Friday's beta so I could go off the meds and take a break for a few weeks before we start thinking about doing a frozen transfer.

But...it's never that easy...

This morning I decided to POAS before I left for my beta. I instantly saw the control line and nothing else so I got dressed and then just before I threw it in the trash, I looked one more time and there was an EXTREMELY faint line. My husband, who has not spent the amount of time looking at these that I have, said there wasn't a line and that is was just showing where the line was supposed to be...but that just proves that there WAS a line.

Soooo...I went in for my test... told her about the different tests and said I had no idea if i was or wasn't. She stayed pretty neutral and said she would call at 3:00.

I had a friend of mine come over who has spent a LOT of time pouring over pregnancy tests and she said that I definitely have a trace of HCG in my system but agreed that it wasn't much. I can't feel good about a possible pregnancy because I don't feel like my number is high enough for anything to last. I just feel like this just might drag on for a few days longer just to end badly.

Well, it's 1:49...71 minutes to wait...at least I have all of your blogs to keep my busy while Jr. takes a nap...