Thursday, January 21, 2010


When we were TTC the first time, we told my in-laws within the first few months. They wanted to plan a family vacation for a year into the future and we felt that we should tell them that we probably wouldn't be available for the trip. It turns out that we were not only available...we weren't even pregnant when that trip was supposed to take place. I really regretted spilling the beans for several reasons. 1) She made some very insensitive comments 2) I felt like she was ALWAYS trying to figure out if I was pregnant 3) and she can't keep a secret. After Jr. was born she kept making comments about how everything was perfect now that he was here. While things were great, infertility changed me. I finally blurted my feelings out one day and told her that despite having a wonderful son, the pain was still there and I didn't want to go back there and talk about it. She didn't bring up my infertility for 2 years. When we started trying the second time we didn't tell them. When we started treatment again, we really could have used the babysitting help but I just wasn't ready to go there. While still at my ob/gyn, Jr went with me and when we switched to the RE, I scheduled super early appointments before W went to work or had friends help me out. When we realized we were headed to IVF we realized we were going to have to break down and ask for help and "spill the beans."
I could go on for pages about "the talk" itself but it went ok. My MIL had lots of questions and I thought we had them answered. We tried to explain the IUIs but I know she really doesn't understand what that was about becuase she keeps making comments about W needed to "make his deposit" for the IVF. She doesn't understand that he has become quite the pro at that. I realized today, that she definitely has NO idea what is going on or has been going on. On my way to my saline ultrasound I dropped Jr. off at her house. She was asking me what the appointment was for and when I told her she asked if that was "internal." When I said "yes" she acted like this must be the worst thing in the world. How does she not understand that every ultrasound has been internal and every IUI (9 total since we did 2 most cycles) has not only been internal but involved a catherter?? I have tried talking, explaining, giving her books on the upccoming IVF but if she doesn't even understand that everying is "internal" I think this is a lost cause.
I normally wouldn't care if she understood or not, but since she insists on talking about it ALL the time now...I'd like it do at least be a productive conversation without insensitive I asking too much??
Just wait until I write about my family...

1 comment:

  1. Your MOther-in-law sounds a lot like mine. When I finally had Conner she said, "Thank you for finally giving me a Grandchild." So, I understand! I could have hit her!