Monday, December 6, 2010

once an infertile, always an infertile

ok, I know I'm been off the radar, I've been using my computer time to keep up with your blogs but just haven't updated mine. The pregnancy seems to be going well. I had another OB appointment two weeks ago and heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was in the low 160s and the dr. instantly predicted girl but he did the same thing with my son so I definitely won't be going out to buy pink based on that.

We told our parents around 9-10 weeks. They had already assumed we were pregnant since we hadn't told them the cycle didn't work but they did a good job of respecting our privacy and being patient for the announcement while we processed the news ourselves. Since my ob appointment was a couple of days before Thanksgiving we went ahead and told our families at Thanksgiving the news and will be announcing it to extended families and friends in our Christmas cards.

So I was finally starting to feel like a normal pregnant person. I wasn't scared everytime I went to the bathroom that I was bleeding, I could actually talk about the baby as a definite occurence instead of saying, "if everything works out," and yes, I could let people congratulate me...but then there was Saturday.

Saturday, we had a bunch of people at our house for a family birthday party. I have been so stressed out about this that I haven't been sleeping and the lack of sleep and stress have made my nausea worse. So you can imagine the fabulous mood I was already in, and then my sister announced her pregnancy. I should be happy, I should be thrilled..our babies will only be a couple of weeks apart...maybe even why did I find myself upstairs in my room crying?

Even though I'm pregnant, pregnancy announcements (especially surprise ones that I didn't see coming) are still hard for me. Is this what I will be dealing with the rest of my life? Will I always be jealous of people who get pregnant easily? Will I always walk into a family event or party and play "guess the pregnant lady" so I can be prepared before the announcement actually happens? I'm beginning to think the answer is yes.


  1. First of all, YAY for hearing the Baby's heartbeat for the first time!

    SO sorry you had a rough time hearing of sister's pregnancy... Infertility impacts us so deeply. I know it doesn't help, but I think your feelings are normal and justified. Hugs!

  2. I had a rough time hearing about my sis's pregnancy too. Long story really but of course I adore my niece now. Her announcement just came out of the blue! So yeah I totally get that. Glad the baby baking is going well!
    Take care

  3. Just found your blog. I have a 2 year old daughter by means of IVF. Last Tuesday a friend told me she was prenant. I forced a smile, said congrats...and wanted to cry. I was very surprised to feel that way. I have been thinking about blogging on the subject as well...glad to see I'm not the only one feeling that way!