Just checking in

I have no idea if there is anyone out there reading this anymore. I know that it has been over 14 months since my last post. Life here is good!! Not only did I welcome out wonderful little boy but it has been so long we are coming up on his first birthday!!! I try to pop on here every few weeks and check up on the blogs that I follow but a) finding time to post just isn't there and b) I'm not sure what I want to write about. Something I promised myself this time around is that I'm not going to think about another baby for a long time and just enjoy the 2 that I have. I want to give my body a break and just enjoy life. I want to enjoy my baby without worrying when and if the next one will come. Last time I didn't do that, I jumped into trying to get pregnant again and missed part of babyhood. This time I know this won't be a two year struggle. We have 3 embryos left. We have made the decision that using those embryos will complete our IF journey. So we have 1 or 2 transfers depending on how well they thaw. So we can wait...probably until next summer. So for now, I'm just enjoying being a mom to two boys and not focusing on wondering if our family is complete or not. But just wanted to let anyone who might still have me in their reader know that I'm still around and I'm still reading your blogs! I might not comment but have been so excited about your good news and have mourned with you over the bad.

When everyone is pulling for you...

When I try to figure out where I fall on the scale of how open I am about my infertility, I figure I am somewhere in the middle. Our immediate family and close friends know exactly what we went through and then the next level of family knows that we have had some struggles but don't know the details. People of facebook may have figured things out here and there from when I have posted during fertility awareness week but in general we don't talk about it on a regular basis. As a result when we have told people we were expecting we got a super excited response from the people who knew what was going on and the other people gave us the normal "oh that's great that you are having your second child" response.

One place I didn't expect the super excited response was my dentist's office. As any of you who have taken some of these hormones know...they can really mess up your gums...just like pregnancy does. So over the past couple years, my fertility struggles have been discussed with the dentist and a couple of the dental hygenests both in regards to updating my current medications as well as how it was affecting my dental health. About 18 months ago, it came up because the Clomid had been brutal to my gums, 12 months ago we were in the middle of our IVF cycle and 6 months ago, I had just finished my surgery and was preparing for our FET. So since they know all this information, they were all super congratulatory when I walked into the office visibly pregnant yesterday. I don't consider these people friends...I only see them twice a year. I have in no way developed the kind of relationship with them that I have with nurses at my RE or OBs office and hald the time I can't remember their names and yet it was so obvious how much they cared. I never realized how much they cared while I was struggling but now I realize that my support circle was even bigger than I could have imagined.

Are you a mommy??

3 posts in less than a week...this is unheard of!!

Jr. is currently at a stage where he is trying to figure out "types" of people. He puts everyone into 3 categories...babies, big boy/girl, and mommies/daddies. Yesterday, we had a business associate drop some paperwork off at our house. I do not know this woman on a personal level and the only things I know about her personal life I learned from spying on facebook. She is probably in her mid-forties, married, no kids but a few dogs. Anyway, when she dropped this paperwork off, she was talking to Jr. since she hadn't seen him in a couple of years. He started asking her if she was a mommy. I went into panic infertile mode. Like I said, I don't know anything about this woman except that she doesn't have kids. My gut would tell me that that is a life choice but I really have no idea...she could have struggled with fertility and now is childless. And of course here I am..5 months pregnant and my 3 year old is asking if she is a mommy. He didn't really mean do you have kids...he just meant you aren't a baby and you seem older than a big girl...so you must be a mommy.

She never answered the question...she may have not known how to answer or she very well may not have even understood what he was saying (he isn't always clear and I didn't clarify). Maybe I am looking too much into this...but either way it set off my IF radar and taught me I need to add in a few more categories!!

24 weeks

How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain: 8 pounds - Now that I am feeling better I am having no problems getting my calories in each day!!
Maternity clothes: I wear a few regular t-shirts under things and some of my regular sweats but besides that everything is maternity.
Sleep: I use my new body pillow about half the night for my back and get up 1 or 2 nights for potty breaks but overall it is pretty good.
Best moment this week: This one was actually about 2 weeks ago, but I can now see movement from the outside...I love to just lay on the bed and watch the show!
Food cravings: I wouldn't necessarily say "cravings" but as of a few weeks ago, the nausea disappeared and i LOVE eating again. My favorites are sweets...ice cream..cookies...etc. I also can't get enough fresh fruit!
Gender: A little boy!!
Labor Signs: No real labor (still WAY too early for that) but I do have the occasional "tightening" and it is usually a reminder that I need to drink more
Belly button: no change
What I miss: not really anything
What I am looking forward to: now that I can see movement and W can feel movement, I think the next time this little guy really gets going, I'm going to try to get JR. to feel it
Milestones: VIABILITY!!!

Happy Birthday Babies!!

One year ago today, was my IVF retrieval. They got 8 eggs, 7 were mature and all 7 of these fertilized.

One year later..

2 didn't make it "off the table" - they just couldn't keep up with their brothers and sisters. I'm sorry I couldn't give them the warm cushy home that the rest of them had or will have but know they are in a wonderful place now!

3 are frozen waiting for me...i don't know when down the road I will see them again but I know I WILL see them again.

1...my little Fred...was quite the overachiever. Despite the fact that we told him to just stay put and make himself comfortable...he went exploring...into my left fallopian tube. He tried and tried to hang on despite what the doctors did but eventually he was gone too. Amazing how much personality I have always pictured this little guy (or girl) with despite never being able to meet him.

and 1 little baby...my little squirt...is currently about 12 inches long and showing me how strong his legs are. He is squirming and kicking as I write this. I can't wait to meet him in a few short months!!

Why is this news??

Did anyone else read this story??

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/eleven-years-triplet-arrives-frozen-embryo-batch/story?id=12492208&page=1

I'm always amazed at what the mainstream media decides is newsworthy when it comes to IF. Ok, so maybe people when frozen embryos normally don't wait 11 years but they made it sounds like triplets born years apart is CRAZY!! Ummm, no, it happens all the time with IVF. I'n only 30 and have 3 frozen embryos..while I don't intend to wait 10 years before trying again..I know that's an option..I'd only be 40 (with 29 year old embies). That is not crazy!

Ok, done with my vent for the day!!

16 weeks

16 weeks
How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain: none
Maternity clothes: Pants are all maternity and shirts are about 50/50
Sleep: Getting better but still trying to teach myself to sleep on my side (I'm a stomach sleeper)
Best moment this week: I got our Christmas cards in the mail that we ordered...they are our big announcement!! I will be sending them out Monday after our 16 week appt.
Movement: yup - for a week weeks now...favorite part of my day
Food cravings: I wish i had a craving so that there was something I enjoyed eating but so far haven't found anything I like
Gender: don't know...but my gut is telling me another boy
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly button: no change
What I miss: not really anything
What I am looking forward to: announcing this pregnancy next week (I am showing enough that people we see on a regular basis know but we haven't made the BIG announcement)
Milestones: We reached the second trimester and are finally able to admit that this is happening!!